Reported on Saturday evening (February 28, 2015)
The contestants of the 6th Annual Frog Race geared up for what would be the run of their lives.
The rain poured and wind howled through the deserted streets of Dockyard… All of a sudden the door blew in and the Mistress of Ceremonies burst through the door. Staggered to the bar, threw her legs up on the counter and said ” I feel like some fried frog legs tonight ! ” ……. and it went down hill from there…
Marie who was hiding in the bathroom priming herself for the arrival of her beloved Pierre, accidentally stuck her eye lash liner straight into her eyeball, blinding her, and making her croak with pain !
Lee Lee moved gingerly at the bar. Thinking that cloudy days offered no sun, she had mistakenly laid at Horseshoe Bay the entire day on Friday, soaking up the rays …on the exposed parts of her obviously way too small bikini.
Admiral Dockwallaper had removed his pants… once again and was letting it ‘all hang out’ onto the bar stool, much to the dismay of Zenola who had just had about enough of the evening before it even started. A yelling match ensued, which had Zenola falling to bits and peas.
Ambush Frog suddenly coming to life by all the excitement, swooped down from the ceiling, bird poop flying ! Soopa Doopa who had been downing Martinis with the bartender suddenly felt that he could leap over the bar in a single bound… he cleared two Martinis and a Dark and Stormy, lying flat in front of Zenola, who promptly slapped him.
With Frogs twisting and rolling on the bar floor, the Auctioneer wielding a machete shouting “I’m getting me some frog legs tonight ! ” It was decided that in the best interest of humanity and Herpetology that the races be temporarily called to a halt .
We apologise for the antics of our contestants, and would like to mention that this is in no way a reflection of the members or staff of the Bermuda Arts Centre.
Once the contestants have regained control, and Admiral Dockwalloper is released from prison, the races will resume.
Our now 7th Annual Frog Races will be held on
APRIL 26 at the Frog & Onion Pub.
